Finally, around 3, the cable guy arrives. But just as he’s arriving my cell phone rings. It’s Troy, so I say hello and wave to the cable guy through the screen, telling him to come inside. I talk with Troy for like – 20 seconds and then spend another 20 seconds trying to extricate myself from the phone call.

Finally, I hit End and look up at the cable guy – because I’m wondering why he’s just standing there in the living room. I mean – get to work, you know?

But then I see that it’s not the cable guy. It’s the mailman. And the mailman is wondering why I have brought him inside.

I tell him, “Oh! You aren’t the cable guy. And you don’t want to be in the living room”.

He was probably replaying ever porn he’s ever seen and thinking how lucky he was that it was actually happening to HIM.

Bow Chicka Bow Bow

He says he just wanted to know if this mail was for this address. I say it probably is and tell him that he is free to leave the house go about his business now. He didn’t leave immediately. He rambled nervously and overshared about his route. I acted interested.